Alone

I'm freaking out a bit. Okay not just a bit... Lots. I'm freaking out lots. I am doing so much new and alone. I have support...but still, I'm alone. My new job is just me, creating a program from scratch. I have no idea how to start. I am lost and don't want to be a failure. But, that's exactly how I feel right now.

Personally, I feel abandoned and alone, too. All I want to do is hold my children and sleep. I'm far away from where I thought I'd be, in a matter of speaking.

I can't can put my hands on stuff like I should be able to do. I have a mess. I need guidance...and not someone telling me how disappointed they are. Believe me... I harbor enough disappointment in myself for us all.

now what?