Home

Man, I am so glad to be home. Glad to have a home. Messy as it is, and unwilling as I am to get it clean. I am so glad to have a wonderful home. I need to get the name of that lady that has a way to clean your house a bit at a time each day...the one that Jenni was talking about that Amber does. I bet Jenny does it, too.

Where is this coming from? Who knows?!

I totally spaced out at church today. YIKES! Everyone else in my CLG felt the sermon was spoken to THEM. But, not me. A few parts, maybe...but mostly not. Does that mean I am NOT ready to be baptized? Does that make me less of a Christian? Does that mean that I have not truly accepted the Holy Spirit, and cannot hear His word?

Also, I couldn't bring myself to include myself/family in today's prayer requests. I wanted so badly to ask for something to do with understanding or guidance in our quest to reproduce. I want so much to have this month be THE month. We're like rabbits...Sorry if I offend. No, I'm not. I feel like I walk in His light. So, by doing that, doesn't that entitle me to bring in another precious gift from him to this world? Maybe I am asking for something I am not ready to ask for, yet? I don't think so. WE conceived Caleb without much problem...lots of planning and feet in the window. This time I thought we leave it more up to Him. No charting with temperatures, and cervical position, and all that jazz. Just plain old fashioned bunny rabbit style. Hit and no miss. I even told BP that we weren't REALLY trying this month. We are just "having fun
& enjoying each other." Which is partially true. I am trying (and he knows it...it was a silly thing to fool myself). So, here goes a prayer for me, after all.

Dear God, my heavenly savior,
I am praying on behalf of my husband and myself. I am praying that you will allow us to conceive a healthy, happy, vibrant child that would follow your light. I understand that the door you open for us will not be easily visible, but we want so much to find it, walk through it and experience the road that follows on the other side of this door. Perhaps we have already opened it, and are unaware. I pray for the guidance to better hear your words, especially the words I am deaf to hear, right now.
In your name I pray,
AMEN