I really struggled with this post. I struggled with whether to even write it. I struggled with the title. So, here goes.

Awake.

Haunted.

Angels.

All of these describe my nights, as of late. I cannot get Tuesday or her family out of my mind. Why has this story stuck in me so deeply? I dream of her. I dream of her siblings and her mother. I picture talking to others about her. I wake from dreams of her and lay in bed for half an hour trying to get her out of my mind. I've almost stopped crying about her. This is only because of the abundance of posts I've researched about her. I almost wish I'd never read about her. But, there has to be a reason that she's at the front of my waking and unconscious mind. WHAT IS IT? WHY? Her mom wrote a beautiful post about a good sign after her life celebration. I finally smiled about it. The slide show done in September by their photographer makes me happy for those moments shared and treasured for their family. The outpouring of love shown by her mom's blogger-world/twin-mommy friends is unbelievable. She is at rest. She is no longer in pain. She is watching over her twin sister and family. She is with our Blessed Jesus. and yet... still I dream.

Sniffle, sniffle

but not 'cause I'm crying. Evidently my system needed that good cry to let loose with a tiny head cold. Oh, fun! So, my boys are healthy... and not the mama.

I took in both kids to see Dr. P on Tuesday. Caleb, 'cause he had a red, irritated eye that I just knew was from the soap in his eye... but wanted to check anyway. and Owen, cause I just knew that he had at least one ear infection.

Um, it's a good thing I'm not a doctor. Caleb had pinkeye (which is all cleared up), and Owen had nothing. He was absolutely perfect. Perfect lungs, nose, ears, everything. So, no explanation for his needing/wanting/demanding to be held all of the time.

So, I will rest - er... probably not so much - this weekend... and enjoy my babies. Hope you have a great weekend...

OH! and I don't have everyone's emails/mailing address... so, even if you didn't get an official invitation, please know that you are definitely invited to Caleb's soiree next Saturday... at the park. So. Yah. That about covers it.

I need to blog about my student teacher... but ... it's probably not the appropriate forum for that, just yet. Maybe I can talk in code about it. :0) More later, I think.

Crying

I've done it again. Have you done it?

I was reading someone's blog, it lead me to another someone's blog and then I ended up reading the blog that made me realize the love I have for my precious children so much more. To appreciate them as gifts from God even more than I already do. My heart just aches after reading the blog in question, and I have teared up often today. So, if you want to join in the tears... and maybe give of yourself, then read on. But, I warned you. Prepare a box of tissues and hold your children close.

I love my babies more than I ever thought was humanly possible... and couldn't bear...

working on it

I am feverishly working on Caleb's birthday invite. I've got it created... now just waiting on getting it printed. More to come.
Here it is: You like? If I can just get Office Depot online to work with me... we'll be in business!

WHEW!!!

10 o'clock late start
PLUS...
199 projects
PLUS...
30 tables in which to set up said projects
PLUS...
260ish kids
PLUS...
over 50 volunteer judges
PLUS...
a well oiled machine called organization and experience
EQUALS...
A successful science competition!

We did it! Even though we started at 10, and were scared we might not even come close to finishing and might have to continue judging kids tomorrow, we did it!!! We even finished in enough time to tally the scores, double check them, and give out awards TODAY! We invited 62 kids to the regional competition in February at ASU. So awesome! The hardest part is now done!

WHEW!!! A HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I am sooooooooo ready to start the next thing... planning Caleb's 4th birthday party.... it'll be on a Saturday - either on Valentine's day or the 21st... I'm thinking Valentine's day...2 ish, at the park, again. What do you think?

Busy

Not gone.
Not forgotten.
Just, crazy busy!

I'm still here. I have a ton on my plate right now. This includes:

• New student teacher, nervous about losing any of my "control"
• Glenn science competition is on Wednesday, if you know me... you know I am WAY stressed about that
• Brant is starting back at school, so I'll see him in June
• My friend did have her baby, tiny (5 pounds, 1 ounce) and just released on Saturday. I spent the day at their house on Saturday, helping them get reacquainted with the house (I shopped, did dishes, made a meal or two, helped get the new mommy adjusted with breast feeding/pumping/etc, ran baths, walked dogs, changed diapers, etc.)
• Playing with my boys, fun as both are quite mobile and in need of much attention
• House junk, cleaning, laundry, food prep

So, I am behind on my fun stuff... as in I hadn't even read ANYONE's blogs since last Monday (when I had a day off!!!), and I have taken even ONE picture of my beautiful babies in that amount of time either. I hope to get back into a routine soon. 'Cause I need to add another bullet to that list up there - finding my waist. I need to slim down and exercise is going to be the only option. *sigh* Oh well. Read about ya'll on the next go 'round. Ta-ta!

New tooth!

On this historic day, my baby has cut tooth #2!

Lots of drooling and chewing going on right now.

OH! and I am trying to get out of school quickly today. I am needed as a birth coach for my friend. She's at 37 weeks, and has been at a SIX for two weeks. Her water is broken and here we go! So, ... yeah!

Uggh! Back to school

I. Don't. Wanna.

This means I should stand in the corner, according to our newly imposed rule for Caleb. If those three words are uttered about ANYTHING, to the corner he must go. So, I will gladly join him there... if I don't have to go back to school.

I have LOVED my time off. I mean, really LOVED my time off. I wonder what job is out there that I could make as much money as I do now... and not have to work 5 days a week? Don't need benefits, Brant has great insurance... yah. I can't think of one that is legal, either.

So, Here I am. Typing a blog instead of getting myself and my two boys ready for school. There are showers to be had, breathing treatments to give, makeup to slather on, diapers to change, daycare awaits us (but not until 7 am...), instructions to be given, and students eager (HA!) to learn. So, I must bid thee adieu. Until next we meet again!

Felt those prayers!!!

Um. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I felt like God had me in his back pocket this weekend! Owen is doing SO much better! as in, Dr. P came in Sunday morning at 8ish and said lots of doctor talk. This is what I pulled out for you: "blah, blah, blah, lots of meds, ... no daycare on Monday, ... go home this morning, ... borrow a nebulizer until Friday, ... blah, blah, blah"

so, we've been home since about 10ish! Owen is playing and laughing, cooing and crawling. He's tolerating the breathing treatments, and has loads of smiles for everyone (especially for Caleb). I'm playing hooky tomorrow (Monday) to keep my baby with the ouchy hiney at home - per doctor's orders.

Now... praying for these guys, and this little fella, too!

Stole this little prayer that I love from the Internet.
Lord Jesus Christ, Good Shepherd of the sheep, you gather the lambs in your arms and carry them in your bosom: We commend to your loving care these children. Relieve their pain, guard them from all danger, restore to them your gifts of gladness and strength, and raise these children up to a life of service to you. Hear us, we pray, for you dear Jacob's, Casen's & Grayson's sake. Amen.

This is where I've been

Thanks, in advance for your prayers...




We're at Community. I took Owen to see Dr. P on Friday morning. His symptoms were:
severe diarrhea, horrendous diaper rash, coughing, runny nose, vomiting due to the coughing and mucus, and a rash that spread over his face, cheeks, chin, elbows, knees, and was getting worse.

Dr. P admitted us immediately. His feet were blue and his blood to oxygen level was only 79%. It should be upwards of 90%. Owen was getting tests for: RSV, pneumonia, and roto-virus. Thankfully, those were all negative. He had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic we started Monday to prevent any UTIs. He has a horrible double ear infection, and the diaper rash was due to the antibiotic, which made him have a yeast infection. It is so sad. He had also lost 2 pounds and was dehydrated. The official (for now) ruling is bronchiolitis.

We're doing good, now. He's perked up and is actually playing by himself and HUNGRY. He's back up to 15 pounds, 15 ounces, and is nearly done with the diarrhea. His little booty still looks horrible, but it's much better... considering. The only issue we're having is that the formula that Dr. P wants him to be on (Similac, Isomil DF - light pink liquid pre-mixed) can NOT be found in this town. I know. I personally looked this evening. So, we are just going to have to wait to see what else Dr. P suggests. Hopefully we'll be getting out Monday morning... maybe sooner. I've already called a sub and certain peeps to take of school stuff for Monday. So, that is where my baby spent his 7 month birthday.